A Bit of Progress

WARDELL-popupSaturday's NYT article “Forget their Dad; Just Listen to Them” was a refreshing take on adopted families – because it wasn't a take on adopted families at all. Pictured were Theo and Sasha Spielberg, featured in a piece about their band, Wardell. The author described the duo as “the children of Steven Spielberg, the Academy Award-winning filmmaker and producer, and his wife, the actress Kate Capshaw.”

After hitting us over the head with the obvious description of Spielberg, I fully expected them to kick a dead horse with the fact that Theo is adopted. But that fact was refreshingly absent.

One might think that the piece had nothing to do with their heritage, and everything to do with their band, so why mention the adoption at all? The unfortunate answer is that society cares whether a child is an adoptikid or a biokid.

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This article about Sandra Bullock dressing up for Halloween with her son does not fail to mention, 3 paragraphs in, that Louis was adopted. This article about Charlize Theron mentions that “she ran errands with her adopted little boy in Los Angeles.” And here's article is just plainly titled, “Katherine Heigl's Day Out With Adopted Daughter Naleigh.”

If every time someone introduced or talked about you, they also mentioned some benign characteristic, you'd be self-conscious about it. You would feel set apart because of it. When the media portrays families as different because they are [fill-in-the-blank], it contributes to the a myth that that trait somehow has a stigma about

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it. We don't say “Ellen's same-sex wife, Portia,” or “Elton John's gay husband David.” If you think marriage is different than reproduction, well we also don't say “Mariah Carey's in vitro fertilized twins.”

Let's work on celebrating and accepting the way individuals choose to form families by saying “daughter” instead of “adopted daughter.”

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